Ever since the existence of the tradition of marriage, people like to talk about how the girl coming to the new family is being treated. When a girl visits her father’s place after her wedding, relatives gather around her bombarding her with all sorts of questions like – how is your husband treating you? Is he respectful? Does he force his opinions on you? how is your father-in-law treating you? How is the culture of the house? Are they all imposing limits on you on how to dress, how to talk, where to go, etc. and the most eagerly awaited answer is to the question- how is your mother-in-law treating you? Does she torture you? Is she biased with you and her daughter? Does she keep giving you orders? ?
Indian marriage culture has somehow always held a negative impression when it comes to “in-laws” of a girl irrespective of which culture they belong to! Why not the same for in-laws of a guy? I wonder!?
And when it is a love marriage people tend to think that the acceptance of the girl by her in-laws would be more problematic compared to arranged because she was the choice of their son as his wife rather than their “handpicked perfectly packaged daughter-in-law” for themselves. This narrow-mindedness has been further narrowed down by the impact of the saas-bahu serials which have become a very integrated part of everyday life for every family across India (All thanks to those “K” melodramas??)
BUT thankfully exceptions do exist in such shallow culture where a daughter-in-law is accepted with open arms even if it is a case of a love marriage. YES, I consider myself extremely blessed (must be the fruits of my some really awesome deeds in my past life?) to have in-laws who make an exception in this narrow-minded culture and society. Ever since I married Shivam (a love marriage of course), they have treated me like their own daughter and sometimes more than that. They made me so comfortable that I have never missed my father’s home, even in those initial years of my marriage, which usually is the case for every girl! They gave me immense love and care, which every daughter-in-law wishes for. Not just Shivam’s parents but his sister, brother, grandmother also have proven to be an exception to this culture. After the demise of my father, I have felt that hand of friendship and warmth reaching out to me from my mother-in-law, she has stood by me just like he use to, guided me through my tough time just like him, been a friend to me just like him, pointed out my mistakes just like he use to. I consider myself lucky that I have 2 sets of parents in the same lifetime. It takes some really good parenting to raise people of such great values and morals!
I wish that every girl around the world get’s a family like mine where a mom-in-law is more of a mother than an in-law, she is a friend who you can confide in and talk your heart out and father-in-law has so much to teach and mentor from his experiences in the professional world. The environment in the families around us would become so much healthier and happier if a girl gets accepted as a daughter instead of daughter-in-law!